Tearful Symbols Gifts

The European Union flag weeping on a wall.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Onion Tears

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"I know. I miss him, too."

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Grief counselling'

A couple holding hands

Chick Lit and Boy Lit.

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

The Invention of Country Music.

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

"He had a full two weeks."

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

Viking Funeral

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

"Hi. Were you Mrs. Hanson?"

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I can't give you my love, but here's my fish."

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

Goliath's Widow.