Tearful Symbols Mugs

The European Union flag weeping on a wall.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"I know. I miss him, too."

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

Onion Tears

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"We can deal with many heart related issues apart from 'a heart torn asunder by the meretricious behavior of a mendacious lover.'"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Grief counselling'

A couple holding hands

Chick Lit and Boy Lit.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

"Goodbye old girl. They'll never issue another bag quite like you."

The Invention of Country Music.

"He leaves behind a wife, two kids, three grandkids, and a 239-day streak on Duolingo."

Viking Funeral

"He had a full two weeks."

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

"His last words were: Tell Martha to pay the doctors first."

At the pearly gates

"Don't cry over her. There will be plenty of fish out of the sea."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

"Hi. Were you Mrs. Hanson?"

"I'm sorry we couldn't give you more time off for the funeral, Sam. You know how hard it is to find a substitute."