Tearful Performer Gifts

Sad Songs.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

Onion Tears

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Sheep striptease'.

Tony's work had taught him that if a thing was worth doing it was worth doing really,,,REALLY well

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

An opera singer

Sleeping Beauty's Wedding

'It's a sprained ankle again. Why are you always slipping on banana peels?'

Magicians monkey.

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Ballerina

Clown school

Madonna

Focoso - to sing with fire and passion.

Stiltwalker's shoes.

"Ooh, we're so impressed."

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

Psychologist has a happy mask on.

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

Mime artist - "Ok! I'll talk!"

"I'm sorry if I was a little disruptive in class. It's just so great having a live audience again!"

"I'm detecting no heart at all...which explains your dislike of cute puppy videos."

"You don't need to conduct me so hard-I'm right here."

'Hurry it up, will you? We're on in five minutes!'

Farcebook website

"Gather 'round and I'll sing in a style that's just earnest enough to make you uncomfortable."

'This is the Linedance class - the Riverdance is next door!'

Wireless high-wire act.

Running coast to coast for attention.