Teamwork Avoider Gifts

You're not a team player, Peters - and I think we can all agree that's a good thing. Beer.

Bob refused to play ball. Not that it mattered – the game was rained out.

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

Serious Putty

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Billy strip: help with homework.

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Nervous at a party.

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

"I virtually finished my homework."

The Procrastinatorium.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.