Team Dynamic Fan Pillows

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

D.I.Y with dad.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"We need to have a serious talk."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Dig in.'

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"We're looking to hire a team player. How would you feel about taking the fall for the company's financial collapse?"

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Encouraging dissent is a good way of finding out who the traitors are."

'We like the teamwork idea, but Mr. Superstar won't let us play with his ball.'

The team wondered if he would ever fit in.

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'