Teaching Fellow Pillows

GOOD FELLOWS

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

End of Affirmative Action

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Safe spaces?

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."