Teacher Friends Pillows

"And that's the day we said goodbye to the No Child Left Behind legislation and were free to teach again."

Wildlife

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'T.M.I.F.'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

SALE

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Fish hunting for men.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Non-Denominational Carols

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."