Friends With Kids In School Pillows

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Teacher's pet dog

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

'I'm bright enough. I just don't have the right connections.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

Toy 4x4: Now with real emissions!

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."