Friends With Kids Pillows

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"We are so sorry – normally we don't allow him to have refined sugar."

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

Anger Disposal Experts sent in a remote control operated unit to defuse Ralph's tantrum.

'I figured out why we have six times as many babies in here as usual. Nine months ago was when the cable TV was out for five straight days.'

'It's her ecological footprint.'

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"Guys, if you're taking your baby in the living room, please use a coaster."

"I hope you don't mind me asking, Mrs. Gonzales...but how does the baby get out of there?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Wildlife

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

A young Don King

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'T.M.I.F.'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"