Teacher's Pet Gifts

'My teacher said I don't pay enough attention in class. At least, that's what I think she said.'

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

'Do you think our teacher liked kids when she was one?'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I'll admit, Billy Jenkins' note does look forged...but then again, he did have it notarized!"

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

Student getting attention with foam sports hand.

"To think that my parents have been feeding me some rubbish about a stork for years!"

'I like my history teacher. He's kind of old and I think he lived through much of the history he's teaching.'

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"But if we learn correct grammar, then no one will understand us."

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

"Grading all of these papers is making me realize that I'm not really getting through to them."

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Teachers are lucky, they don't have to do homework."

Math Teacher

"There are no stupid questions, but you managed to come up with one."

"I'm beginning to wonder if Mrs. Davis ever learned the alphabet. The only letter she seems to know is D."

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"My teacher said if she knew as much about teaching as everyone else, the school wouldn't be able to afford her."

"I love school! Today, I passed out new books...I passed out tests...I passed out homework assignments."

"Something to take the sting out of four Bs and two Cs ... "

"I was going to bring an apple for the teacher too, but since the marking period is approaching, I decided to bring an apple pie."

Did You Miss Me?

'Remember, he's ambidextrous. He can be both heavy handed and slight-of-hand.'

'If Miss Stabler had meant for me to read, she wouldn't have told me to have a nice summer.'

'My teacher says that in America, everybody can become President of the United States.'

'I got ten dollars for my birthday, Miss, Kellerman -- what time do you get off work?'

Teacher's Lounge

'I love and appreciate my teacher. Please help me stop disturbing the students when she is teaching.'

Final Exams Today

School teachers revenge.

Our staff are well trained and can deal with most situations calmly and patiently.

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'