Teacher Life Gifts

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'That's our mission statement.'

In basket-case.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...