Taxation Cynic Pillows

"If that was a 'cut,' I wonder what a tax hike looks like."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"So we have met before..."

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

Stimulus bust

Budget reaction.

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

Inside Jim Flaherty's office.

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'