Tax Worrier Pillows

The tax overhaul will be just like my engine overhaul --- In the beginning there's lots of incomprehensible terminology and at the end I'll be given a big bill!

The IRS is out to get you? -They didn't follow your HERE, did they?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

Tax Collector

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

Man has his pockets emptied of cash at internal revenue office.

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"So son, if you keep your nose to the grindstone and work hard, you can grow up to be bludgeoned by the IRS, too."

"Lessee ... I suppose my current income is around ... "

Energy Bills

IRS: I Survived the Audit.

"My ship came in, but the Government put it in dry dock."

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

buck stops here-taxes...mine

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '