Tax Turmoil Trooper Gifts

"IF the government keeps attack rich tax dodgers I've a good mind to move abroad and not pay my taxes somewhere else!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

Man has his pockets emptied of cash at internal revenue office.

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'This administration is getting desperate. Now they say I owe taxes on the gains from my practice account.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"So son, if you keep your nose to the grindstone and work hard, you can grow up to be bludgeoned by the IRS, too."

"Lessee ... I suppose my current income is around ... "

'The all bad news is, the last check that bounced, you sent to the IRS.'

"If it's the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!"

"My ship came in, but the Government put it in dry dock."

Tax confusion.

buck stops here-taxes...mine

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

"I'm here to pay you to tell me how much I have to pay someone else."

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

"Sorry son, but I've spent your inheritance fighting inheritance tax."

Tax...mine...vat.

"Im curious about your dependent children. I believe their names are Scamp, Scruffy, Flop, Spunky, and Lady."

'Can I protect my assets through moral bankruptcy?'

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

'Sorry, we're open.'