Tax Returns Pillows

'Certainly I expect to deduct the diet clinic. The lean and hungry look is for business purposes.'

Man posting letter to the IRS.

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

The Accountant Husband

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

December 24th and the December 26th.

"You want a refund? - Don't PUSH it, pal!"

The new, re-designed, shorter tax return form.

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

Tax man presenting a gift.

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"Head of household? Now, who would that be?"

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'if I didn't know those guys were public servants, I could swear it was the other way around.'

"I'll be with you in a minute, sir - Just have a seat and don't make any funny moves."

E-File Muffy: Head of Household

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

Crawl

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

"Don't forget to say thank you, Malcolm."

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

'Apparently they've determined that the economic problems of the country come down to the lack of a receipt for our home office copier.'

'You've done this before.'

Cartoonist's tax return

"You failed to enclose with your rebate form the correct tail feather from an extinct bird species so we are unable to process your request..."

"What? I filed our taxes online and now I'm celebrating."

I'm self employed being self employed

"Do you think I could claim depreciation on my worn out hip?"

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

"Have to run, Al - I've got an accounting gig at two."

"You'll find that accounting isn't always as glamorous as the media portrays."