Tax Return Artist Pillows

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

"Head of household? Now, who would that be?"

"I'll be with you in a minute, sir - Just have a seat and don't make any funny moves."

"Don't forget to say thank you, Malcolm."

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

'if I didn't know those guys were public servants, I could swear it was the other way around.'

Super Six

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

Next year, taxpayers will have the option of donating their tax refunds to save the shrinking surplus.

Cartoonist's tax return

'You've done this before.'

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

Mr Small had the sinking feeling that his meeting with the tax inspector might not be as smooth as he'd hoped...

'Certainly I expect to deduct the diet clinic. The lean and hungry look is for business purposes.'

"Do you think I could claim depreciation on my worn out hip?"

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

"E. R., ACME Accounting: 11:57 P.M., April 14th"

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

"You'll find that accounting isn't always as glamorous as the media portrays."

'I'm worried, Dear. My agent and his supervisor are arguing over first dibs at our audit.'

"And now the winner for 'most creative tax loophole'..."

"Have to run, Al - I've got an accounting gig at two."

'Hey, there's an IRS truck out front. And a bunch of agents. I'll bet they're delivering our refund. . .'

Come in, Mr. Hancock - I've just been reading you tax return.

'I like to pay as much tax as I can but I can't talk to anyone about it...'

"Today, we will talk about your phony numbers. We will not talk about the I.R.S. having too many cooks!"

IRS - Follow the Teardrops.