Tax Return Artist Gifts

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

"Head of household? Now, who would that be?"

"I'll be with you in a minute, sir - Just have a seat and don't make any funny moves."

'if I didn't know those guys were public servants, I could swear it was the other way around.'

Super Six

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

"Don't forget to say thank you, Malcolm."

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

Cartoonist's tax return

Next year, taxpayers will have the option of donating their tax refunds to save the shrinking surplus.

'You've done this before.'

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

'Certainly I expect to deduct the diet clinic. The lean and hungry look is for business purposes.'

Mr Small had the sinking feeling that his meeting with the tax inspector might not be as smooth as he'd hoped...

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

"Do you think I could claim depreciation on my worn out hip?"

"E. R., ACME Accounting: 11:57 P.M., April 14th"

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

'I'm worried, Dear. My agent and his supervisor are arguing over first dibs at our audit.'

"Have to run, Al - I've got an accounting gig at two."

"You'll find that accounting isn't always as glamorous as the media portrays."

"And now the winner for 'most creative tax loophole'..."

'Hey, there's an IRS truck out front. And a bunch of agents. I'll bet they're delivering our refund. . .'

"Today, we will talk about your phony numbers. We will not talk about the I.R.S. having too many cooks!"

Come in, Mr. Hancock - I've just been reading you tax return.

'I like to pay as much tax as I can but I can't talk to anyone about it...'