Tax Puzzler Pillows

'Care to hear about a millionaire who makes over a million dollars a week and pays no income tax?'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Lessee ... I suppose my current income is around ... "

'You won't have me as a deduction anymore.'

"He's ready for you now. Don't forget to ask for the job at the end of the interview."

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

'I.R.S short form.'

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

"What triggered the audit? On your facebook page, you said you were a person of 'untold wealth'."

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

"When you said meet me at your workplace, I assumed you had an office!"

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

"We take a very dim view of these kind of tax evasion tactics, Mr. Jones!"

IRS, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

Tax Loopty Loopholes

'I can't tell him you're not here, nitwit, your silhouetted on the window!'

Zero rated for VAT.

'Look, people are basically honest and decent. Why don't we scrap the tax laws completely and have the people pay whatever they think is fair?'

Tax Man Deducts A Witch's Broom As A Travel Expense

Me Doing My Taxes

Accounting department: Taxable income/Deferred Income/Loophole Research and Development.

'Your money? -- does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?'

"I've got problems with the IRS. I haven't filed in seven years."

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

"Remember, if I blink three times, then run for it."