Tax Dollar Worrier Gifts

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

Tax Collector

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

The Circle.

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Energy Bills

"Lessee ... I suppose my current income is around ... "

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

View my Tax Return $15

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

Credit Crunch.

"You're lucky. We've bagged our limit for this tax season."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

Room 101 Tax Inspection

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'