Tax Documentation Pillows

The New Simplified Tax Return!...Step 1: Calculate income from all sources...Step 2: Send it.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Flat tax - equal burden?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Tax Collector

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

'I'd like the short form instead...'

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

Put it in writing!

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'