Legal Documentation Pillows

Put it in writing!

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

Dotting I's and crossing T's.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Singing cowboy AND notary public"

'And this is Cunningham. He's our most valuable employee. He writes all of our product disclaimers.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Bailiff."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The Devil's in the detail!

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"They're class action figures."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Attorney and killer bee.

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Night Court

Attorney Punching Bag

"Looks good to me, but let's run it by the lawyer first, just to see how illegal it actually is."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'