Tax Conspirator Gifts

"Do you really expect the I.R.S. to believe in all your mileage deductions?"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Panama Papers Scandal

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

Money laundering.

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

"Is that before or after tax?"

'I baked it especially for you.'

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

"If it's the I.R.S., tell them: Not a penny! Not a centime! Not a sou!"

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

"After you read the menu, eat it."

Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'