Tax Code Thrill-seeker Gifts

"Remember, if I blink three times, then run for it."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

New Improved I.R.S.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

'Grible is a fiscal conservative. You know — 'if it ain't broke, don't subsidize it.''

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

"Here's a new one, intellectual property tax."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."