Fiscal Thrill-seeker Gifts

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Time to buy.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"Dow's up!"

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'A few days away from those sharks on Wall Street will make all the difference.'

'Worldcon' - financial statement fraud exposed.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'The financial advisor is here.'

Jeff Sessions

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'And now, here's our own Ted Slimbuck to explain all those ups and downs in the stock market.'

'He's chasing the market.'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'After I bought those stocks of Chinese companies, I felt greedy again in an hour.'

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

'Don't jump Pumroy! Just remember: today's frantic selling can quickly become tomorrow's frantic buying.'

Grexit

"We have had some bumps and bruises on the stock market."

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

Economic

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'