Tax Chuckler Gifts

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

IRS: In Addition To Tax Refunds, We're Giving Gift T-shirts To Taxpayers.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

One way only.

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"...And now show us what you said."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

tax

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.