Tax Banter Aficionado Pillows

Inland Revenue - Calling him 'Big Brother' wasn't very smart!

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

Budget reaction.

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Stimulus bust

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'