Tax Avoidance Gifts

"If they're going to try and take more of my money on taxes have a good night to move abroad I'm not paying my taxes somewhere else!"

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

I.T. Fear

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Little Taxes.

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"Let's make a deal. . . I won't audit you in exchange for a discount on one of your Warhols."

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I'm devastated. My favorite fast-food place is cheating on me. That's what it feels like, anyway. It's Burger King! Burger King's moving its headquarters to Canada to weasel out of paying taxes! I feel so betrayed. How do I deal with this betrayal, Sadie?! You sound a lot like the CEO of McDonald's. McWhat? Never heard of it.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

Businesman shakes out his piggy US bank only to find other piggy banks marked OffShore.

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

"Actually, I don't mind picking up leaves. It stops me from following politics."

The dog that does the homework...

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

'Everything I hide from the IRS I do it for the children.'

Infernal Revenue Service

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'