Tax Avoidance Tactician Gifts

"Son, someday this will all be exposed in the Panama Papers."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Offshore tax havens.

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'