Taste Titan Pillows

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Football.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

Pizza and Related Searches.

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

'Why didn't you tell me there was a toilet attachment on our space suits?'

Hazard of texting

I love my mobile phone.

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

Coffee Cartoon - Takeaway cup size.

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

Moo Shoe Guy Pan.

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

'Big tissue?'

"...You've already had two goodnight text messages."