Taste Bud Tyrant Pillows

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"No screen time means more scream time."

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Executive fitness.

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

'Mind if I join you? I told your wife that if she didn't like the way I cook, she could have a run at it herself.'

Dijon Vu

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"It probably tastes better than it looks!"

'What do you think? Does my lemonade need more sugar?'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

'Don't change the channel.'

'Inside of me a thin person is struggling to get out. I find that person can be sedated with a piece of chocolate cream cheese cake.'

"Telling me how nutritious it is doesn't make it taste any better."

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'My first one is obvious making it illegal to ever question me...In that case, it'll be the right for everyone to never question me! Good catch, daddy. Thanks...'

Pizza Restaurant sign reads: Under Old Management with New Owners.

'Do I detect an inner grape struggling to get out?'

Slacker Husband