Tarot Toaster Pillows

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Ill next Thursday

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Trout Game

Nostradamus.

The Inner Dog.

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Hog Futures

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

Monster Horrorscopes

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

Have you seen this toaster?

"You are going to meet a tall, dark stranger..."

Ace Cryogenics (Giant toaster).

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?

I just knew this would be dull.

fortune teller and credit card.

'I see bloodshed at No.23,Mrs.Higgs at 34 has told her husband,Mrs.Blake at 42 is threatening to tell....'

Madame Lucille Fortune Teller. "I predict the future."

"The Toast Whisperer"

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

"I put all this stuff on your credit card, Bob, but don't worry! I had a tarot card reading by Minerva and she said this is my lucky Bingo card!"