Target Chaser Gifts

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'Whoever said 'taking part is better than winning' was certainly a loser...'

Pushy Salesmen

'Hey we just hit our sales goal...for 1978.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

The Salesman

"I, TikTok."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Mohamed Salah

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Kensington Fluffies

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Cat Zoom Meeting

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

Men can show their emotions!

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"We succumbed to your hype."

'This is no game! This is who I am!'

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"We have a goal wrapped in a plan, and served on a bed of success."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Life in the fastest lane.

Astronaut

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."