Tantrum Wrangler Pillows

"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."

The Baby Walker

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Use your inside scream."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Out of patience

Parenting Business Deals

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

The First Day Back

The Terrible Forty-Twos

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Nanny with children on leash

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Parental Training Course

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'