Tantric Explorer T-Shirts

'We've been on the road to sexual enlightenment for over four hours...let's pull over for a coffee...'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

Those Were The Days

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Guru.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

The Path

"Did you have a cat?"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"All the celebrities come here."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'