Tanning Salon Regular Pillows

"Oh, don't mind him. He comes here to get warmed over."

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Sunbathing in Autumn

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

IT staffer vacation tan lines.

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'I love us when we're tan.'

A gap between the solar panels

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

Sun Worshipers

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Medium well, please.'

The Sun Bather

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Gym/Tan/Donut

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

Beauty Bee

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

"I smell bacon. Are you wearing sunscreen?"

"High time!"