Tan Perfectionist Gifts

Painting over tan lines.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

Surreal ale

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Trucker's tan?'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'I love us when we're tan.'

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"You're welcome."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

Quality Contorl.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

Social lens of the photojournalist

"Quit moving"

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."