Tall Tale Whisperer Gifts

'It took me 7 hours to get him into the boat. Actually, it's fake, and it took me 10 minutes to buy it off the Internet.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Horror Stories.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Reasonableman

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

A Salmon Lie

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'