Tall Tale Whisperer Prints

'It took me 7 hours to get him into the boat. Actually, it's fake, and it took me 10 minutes to buy it off the Internet.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Fishing Tales

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Horror Stories.

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Reasonableman

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'It was this big. I swear'

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'