Talking Pet Fan Pillows

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

What does aloof mean?

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Another slander suit!"

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'We should talk more.'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Parrot annoying dog.

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

"I did it!"

"I'm a funny little person so I'm looking to adopt a funny little dog. Do you have one?"

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

'I bet you think you have known interesting people before, not like me. I am truly fascinating.'

'If provoked - his remarks can be scathing.'

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

'They have great rapport.'

'I demand a second opinion!'

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"