Talk Show Viewer Pillows

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

Trappist talk show.

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"