Talent Show Viewers Pillows

"O.K., laugh, but this is going to be my ticket out of here."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

The Drummer

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Trump commissions song

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

The Ox Factor

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

'You call that carol singing?'

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

"She's good because she is our bookkeeper."

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

Mic Drop

The ocean is no place for a star.

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

Jerusalem's Got Talent

"Dad, it's only a surveillance camera."

AD 763. Hopeful entrants in the first Easter Island Idol competition.