Watching Talent Shows Pillows

Strictly Come Dancing Wild West Style

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

The Drummer

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Must-See Lockdown TV.

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

Trump commissions song

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

The Ox Factor

"Just watching old stuff from 2019."

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Simon Cowell

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

'You call that carol singing?'

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'

The ocean is no place for a star.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Mic Drop

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

"She's good because she is our bookkeeper."