Watching Talent Shows Pillows

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

The Drummer

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

Trump commissions song

The Ox Factor

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"Just watching old stuff from 2019."

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Each one of you will to sing your job creation and tax plans. . . the 'American Idle' will vote for 'the American President'.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

'Usual Saturday night crap.'

The ocean is no place for a star.

'You call that carol singing?'

Mic Drop

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?