Tail-wagger Steward T-Shirts

"I love my mistress, but I must say I resent the leash."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"He's already getting attached to you."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'He loved that dog.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"That's just not the real me."

'You tell me how he does it.'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

Fido and Fifi

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

'Wag the tails!'

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'He's barking mad!'

"No, I did not sniff you!"

Headshot of perky dog.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the leash isn't to protect you from dog-nappers.

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"My human can't tell which end is which."

'The mirror doesn't lie.' 'Thank goodness.'