Tail-wagger Steward Gifts

"I love my mistress, but I must say I resent the leash."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"He's already getting attached to you."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

'He loved that dog.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"That's just not the real me."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

'You tell me how he does it.'

Fido and Fifi

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

'Wag the tails!'

"No, I did not sniff you!"

Headshot of perky dog.

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'He's barking mad!'

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"This silly magazine article says dogs only PRETEND to love us to fulfill deeply ingrained, parasitic survival instincts. Well, they don't know my Skipper, do they?"

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."