Tactician Gifts

"Look, I'd like to avoid overkill, but not at the risk of underkill."

The Use of Cavalry

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"Can we get more salt shakers to represent the enemy scum?"

"Now we have all your arrows!"

Beige Ops

Confusing the Enemy's Sense of Direction

"General, can't we just convince the insurgents to become exsurgents?"

'You and whose army?'

'He was a brilliant strategist but not much of a horseman.'

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

A soldier escaping over a rope bridge

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Football.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

"If you can't beat them, sir, perhaps you should consider colluding with them."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'Quick! Play dead!'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

Arsene Wenger

No Tread on Me