Table Etiquette Aficionado Pillows

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"At least try to eat your soup in time with the music."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"The last doggy bag."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

"What a slobster."

"Oh no! Didn't you bring your phone?"

'Have you been eating right?'

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

I'll have a hamburger.

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"As I told you before, I do not allow smoking in my restaurant..."

'Smoking section, please.'