Systems Theory Gifts

"My wife doesn't understand closed systems"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Sigmund Freud.

When Engineers Crack.

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

'So, how should we play this - capitalism or socialism?'

Capitalism

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

Freedom Puppet

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

Bureaucrat

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

Lots of 'systems chappies'.

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

Richard Taruskin

"Bloody privatisation, have you got 50p?"

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

"Oog has a weird theory - He thinks sex and violence should be separate."