Systemic Worrier T-Shirts

Mousetrap serves for pushbutton in complaint department.

A Hole in the Dike

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I.T. Fear

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Separation Anxiety

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

'Oh no! Here comes our insurance guy! He's 3 minutes early for our appointment.'

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

"Well, we've done it, Sandy . . . we hit the 'cold snap tri-fecta:'. . ."

What do you mean "try jiggling the handle"?!

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

Full Harvest Moon

"I can always tell when there's something on Ferguson's mind."

'Next, they'll be taking our jobs.'

"Trust me: It's benign."

The reassurer: the magazine for chronic worriers

"What's the temperature of the water?"