Syringe Skeptic Gifts

'Pills and medicine are okay, but really doctor, I don't do shots.'

"The first one's just a warning."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

Effective Cuban vaccines

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

Snow globe vaccine

"Health professionals prepare syringes for another intense vaccination day."

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Life on Earth - Why bother?

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"Let's go to my sister's house. They have the 'Absolutely No Super Hero Movies Channel.'"

COVID-19 Vaccine

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

"Gimme a shot!"

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

"Science fiction? Boring! It's always about gravity and blue skies and two-legged aliens. I prefer non-fiction."

"Good news Mr. Roberts, we have a vaccine!..."

"Beware of everything."

MJX Corporation: Committed to Excellence and Whatnot.

He's got a lousy voice!

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

"The new Matter-Eater Lad movie is going to be better than the new Avengers movie because it's not about saving the whole world." "Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why 'The Martian' did so well." "It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden." "I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares." "We really should have our own movie review show."

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

Covid Shiva

Robert the Bruce actually hated spiders.

'I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't seem right.'

"Sunrise, yes -- dawning of a new day may be overstating it."

"Scared of spiders! Is that it?"

Sun Times: UFO Sighting Hoax