Symphony Satirist Gifts

'I love Brahms' 2nd Symphony in A minor, especially the part where it pauses and the voice says, 'Please hold for the next available broker'.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

The Bible, signed copy.

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Hows the protest song coming along Bill?"

'I know.. Let's write a song all about the evils of material wealth. After all, that last one netted us a bloody fortune!'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

"I'm not mocking your song—I'm sampling it."

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

"I'm composing a song for the new administration. It's entitled, 'Hell to the chief'."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

'Don't say anything!'

The critic as band leader

"Are we locked up with him, or is he locked up with us?"

Uke Free Zone

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

This next song aims to halt global warming and bring about an end to famine...sing along if you think it'll help.

Things are looking up!

Although he later fired his editors, Wagner was never able to convince the public of his original intentions.

The muse for letters to the editor.

'Democracy... one man one vote... I'm a man and I've got the one vote what's the problem?'

Women tied up and forced to listen to piano practice.

Tail-piece to the Artists' Catalogue.